EDITOR’S CHOICE AWARD
BY Meghan Miraglia
My Thoroughbreds are bolters. They spook at empty water buckets,
……………their own hooves misplaced on the track. My Thoroughbreds
have breath that is hot & searching, ears that stay pinned back
………………………………………and hearts ten times the weight of mine.
I go broke. Am broken up with. Must quit, give them away –
the gelding with the white patch, the mare with a penchant for kicking
……………other horses, the mare who wears double-reins, the gelding
…………………………who eats Skittles straight from the bag.
He threw me once. Ran off, returned, rested his nose on my knee
……………while I lay in that blanched dirt, watching his lungs heave & settle.
I lose a job, get a new one. Earn a degree.
………………………………………Move to the city. Move on.
I buy roses, cut their stems with kitchen scissors, wait for the water
……………in the vase to brown. I dream of Roman-nosed draft horses
with feathered feet, necks wide as my two closed legs.
……………No carriage to pull, no felled tree to carry, no end to pant for.
……………This is to say, I go untouched. I do not touch.
The new owners put one of the geldings to sleep. The mares are gone now, too –
……………reins crumble in the back of a tack room, names removed from stall doors.
…………………………I carry my heart, too small for its chest.
On the news broadcast watched from my borrowed laptop, the reporter
……………mentions a barn fire. A racing stable, several states away.
…………………………All horses accounted for but one.
……………I look for you, the missing one, among this stone & steel. I imagine
teaching you not to fear the cups in the sink, I imagine feeding you sugar
……………from the bowl. But a horse must be gentled or broken –
……………palm placed on muzzle, the gesture before the gesture:
…………………………hit/coax
……………………………………………………strike/cajole.
That night, I dream of you. That night, I strip the saddle, melt the bit to silver.
……………I watch you stumble through the dark, head low, your exhalations
parting the clover that grows between sidewalk slabs.
…………………………I kiss the air: a sound you would have known.
You don’t turn back,
……………your body one long arrow, loose from its bow.