What you learned as a boy

BY KYLE GETZ

Read by the author

When you were a boy, you learned to treat girls with respect and all the other boys learned to treat girls with respect, too, because you learned that girls are fragile. But it turns out you are a gay boy and you never learned that boys should treat you with respect, too, so now you let boys treat you however they want, even though you are fragile, too.

When you were a boy, you learned ladies first and hold the door for her and after you ma’am. But it turns out you are a gay boy standing in a room filled with gay boys, so now everyone looks around wondering who is supposed to go first, and that means everyone is tied for last.

When you were a boy, you learned that girls that wear mini skirts are sluts and girls that open their legs are sluts and girls that take it in the back door are sluts. But it turns out you are a gay boy that never learned what to wear or how to hold your legs or where to take it, so now you always cover your legs and you only open your legs in the darkness of a blackout, but the only way you can take it is in the back door so no matter what you do, you’re a slut.

When you were a boy, you learned to never be cocky or a dick so you weren’t either but then everyone said you were a sissy boy. But it turns out you are a gay boy and a sissy gay boy at that, so now you look for a cock or a dick to shove inside you to fill the void in what you were never supposed to be but aren’t, so you don’t mind when the cock or the dick treats you like nothing but an ass.

When you were a boy, you learned that playing with other boys meant roughhousing and fist-fighting and you can’t tattle-tell because it’s just boys being boys and man up and be a man. But it turns out you are a gay boy that only plays with other boys, so now when you live with a boy in a rough house with fist-fighting, it’s just boys being boys and you still can’t tattle-tell because that would mean you aren’t a man.

When you were a boy, you learned that boys don’t cry and even though the worst thing you could imagine was being a gay boy, you used to lie in your bed every night and pray that you weren’t really a gay boy and you did it without crying. But it turns out you are a gay boy in spite of your prayers, so now you can lie in your bed at night and cut yourself without crying a single tear.


Kyle is a writer and the co-host of Gayish, a podcast that deconstructs gay stereotypes, which was nominated for Best LGBTQ Podcast in 2017. Kyle’s writing has been published in The James Franco Review, Milk Journal, and Cat on a Leash Review. More of his work is available at kylegetz.com.​

Image Credit: “Emotional Portrait,” Michelle Nguyen aka Michy Belle

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